


Haunted

by redcandle17



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-18
Updated: 2010-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-07 08:59:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcandle17/pseuds/redcandle17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Lady Catelyn Stark and Lord Commander Jon Snow must deal with the past when he visits Winterfell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted

He could have come here as the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and made it easier on both of them. Instead he came as Jon Snow; the bastard son and the bastard half-brother coming to pay his respects to the bones of his father and his brother. Catelyn ordered Harwin to take him down to the crypts.

"I can find my way."

"It would not be courteous to leave a guest wandering on his own," Catelyn said evenly, making sure he knew that this was no longer his home.

His face grew colder, longer somehow, like Ned's face would when he was displeased. But he said nothing and allowed Harwin to accompany him. Rickon ran after him.

It was not fair. Why was her Robb a pile of bones in a tomb while Jon Snow lived and even thrived? How could the gods be so cruel? Catelyn broke down and wept there in the snow-covered yard.

"My lady," said her maid timidly.

Catelyn drew herself up before the bastard could return and see her like this. She wiped away her tears. "Conduct Lord Snow to my bower when he returns. We have matters of state to discuss."

She had received ravens informing her that Stannis Baratheon had fled to the Wall and was being aided by the Night's Watch. Lord Tywin commanded her to send Stannis's head to King's Landing. Part of her wanted nothing more than to join forces with Stannis, sorcerous kinslayer though he was, and take Tywin's own head and those of his vile children and grandchildren. But her sweet Sansa was hostage in King's Landing and Catelyn knew the Lannisters would not hesitate to murder her even though she was Joffrey's queen. And the Lannister armies would descend on her brother's lands again. She could not have more bloodshed.

"Have you had any word of Bran?" she asked when Snow entered her bower.

"No, there's been no word."

Bran was lost to her too, although he was still alive. The wilding woman Osha thought that he and Howland Reed's children might have headed north. Catelyn had sent ravens all over the north, telling of the peace she had made with the Lannisters, telling how it was safe for her boy to return. The only reply she'd received was from Lord Liddle, whose account seemed to indicate that Bran might have gone beyond the wall. The thought terrified her, but there was nothing she could do. She might have gone to search for him herself, but she needed to stay with Rickon.

"Arya is well," Catelyn told Jon Snow awkwardly. She knew her daughter had always been especially close to him. "She loves Bear Island and Lady Mormont says her training is going well."

"I received a letter from her," Snow informed her.

Of course. Catelyn wondered if Arya had also remembered to write to her sister. "Is it true that you are aiding Stannis Baratheon? The Night's Watch is not supposed to take sides in any conflict within the realm."

"I have not aided Stannis; he has aided me. The wildings would be overrunning these lands now if Stannis had not come to reinforce the Night's Watch."

"And I am duly grateful to him for it," Catelyn replied. "But he has declared himself still at war with the Lannisters and my treaty with them demands I remove him from my son's lands. If I do nothing, Tywin Lannister will consider me a traitor and which of your brothers and sisters would you lose then?"

"Brothers and sisters, Lady Stark?" he asked quietly. "Surely you meant my trueborn half-brothers and half-sisters."

Catelyn felt her face flush, though she could not say whether it was from anger or shame. She could not reply to him, not about that, so she continued to speak of the danger instead.

"Stannis Baratheon is no man's friend. I was there when he slew his own brother by some sorcery."

"I do not like him any better than you, but I need him. You need him too, Lady Stark. The wildings are fleeing south and I've received reports of Others."

Catelyn shivered.

"I've seen wights with my own eyes."

Catelyn stared at him, wondering if this was some jest, if he was looking to make a fool of her. But his face was solemn, so like Ned's.

"I have fewer than a thousand men. I need more men to garrison the castles along the Wall and keep watch. Stannis will take charge of some of the castles, but it is not enough."

"If I send men to the Wall, the Lannisters will think I am adding my men to Stannis's."

"Let the Lannisters think what they may. I have written them, but they refuse to see the danger."

"How do I know this isn't some trap?" Catelyn demanded. "How do I know you have not made some deal with Stannis? Will his men descend on this castle when I've weakened my own forces?"

"He did offer to make me Lord of Winterfell," Jon Snow said.

Catelyn was surprised that he admitted it.

"I refused, even though I believed all the lawful heirs were dead at the time. I am a man of the Night's Watch." His voice rose when he said, "I will not dishonor my vows."

Honor. Ned had been an honorable man. But even honorable men forget their honor sometimes, as Ned had done when he'd fathered the man sitting across from her. Was it possible baseborn Jon Snow possessed more honor than his father?

"And I would _never_ betray my brothers and sisters. What I must do will protect them as well as every man in the Seven Kingdoms. I am no Stark, but Stark blood is in me and the Starks have always upheld their responsibilities to the Night's Watch. If this young Lord Stark cannot fulfill his obligation, then history can at least say that one son of Eddard Stark did his duty."

"My son knows his duty," Catelyn snapped, though they were not talking of five year old Rickon; they were speaking of her. "You will get your men, but you cannot call Stannis Baratheon king. We will lie to the Lannisters. We will tell them that Stannis has taken the black, that you have made him your chief lieutenant. It will be your responsibility to make sure no word to the contrary leaves the Wall to reach King's Landing."

She had surprised Jon Snow; she could see it on his face. But he only said, "How long can that ruse last? You know Stannis; he will call himself king until the day he dies."

"It will last as long as it lasts. We will do all we can." Brienne of Tarth had once sworn to avenge Renly Baratheon and kill Stannis. Catelyn had charged the young woman with acting as Arya's sworn shield, fearing for her safety should she seek out Stannis. But now it was time to let her have her revenge.

Ned would never have tolerated assassination and Catelyn was prepared to argue with his son, but Jon Snow only nodded when she told him about Brienne. He would help to separate Stannis from his guards and give the young woman an opportunity to do the deed.

With their business concluded, Jon Snow left. Catelyn felt tired. She liked none of this. Brienne was a good girl. Would that Catelyn could see any other path. But she must needs protect her children and their lands above all else. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed, but she had to dress for the feast.

It was not much of a feast and not because she meant Lord Commander Snow any slight. There was little enough food to buy and little coin to buy it with after what the Bastard of Bolton had done to Winterfell. Catelyn grimaced at the thought of Bolton. He had sworn that he'd known nothing of his son's attack on Winterfell and he had turned him over to the Greatjon's axe, but Catelyn did not trust Bolton.

She could not think about that now. She could not think of all the problems that faced her, lest she be consumed by them. Catelyn gave up on trying to finish her dinner and pushed her plate away. Beside her, Rickon was chattering happily to Jon Snow. Snow was seated to the right of Rickon's great seat, in the place of honor. That was her usual seat, but the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch ranked high enough to warrant the courtesy.

Rickon was looking sleepy, though he protested when she told him it was time for bed. "I want to stay here with Jon!"

"He will be here in the morning. Bid him good night and come along."

"I want to stay!"

Snow rose from his seat. "I can tell you a bed time story, a true one."

"A scary one?"

"Very."

Catelyn should have sent Rickon off with Jon Snow, but she had tucked her son into bed every night since she'd been reunited with him and she was loath to give it up now. She led Rickon by the hand to his bed chamber and did not let go even when she saw him take hold of Snow with his other hand.

When Rickon had changed into his bed clothes and was safely under the covers, Jon Snow began to tell his story. Catelyn wondered whether it really was true, whether he had awoken one night to find wights wandering Castle Black. She had assumed the wights he'd seen had been over the Wall. To think of the walking dead on this side of the Wall…Catelyn shuddered.

"That wasn't so scary," Rickon murmured sleepily. Catelyn smiled. She kissed his forehead and wished him sweet dreams. On the other side of the bed, Jon Snow leaned to kiss him too. It felt as though someone had reached inside Catelyn and squeezed her heart. He looked so much like Ned. It could have been her and Ned taking one last look at baby Robb for the night before heading to their own bed. Catelyn began to cry.

She was silent; she didn't know how Snow knew. He could have pretended he didn't see or he could have left. Instead he just sat there staring at her with uncertainty on her husband's face.

"Go away," she said.

He didn't move.

Catelyn slapped him. She had never touched him before and what she'd just done shocked her. But he was still here. She wanted to shout, but it would wake Rickon. And she would not run away and leave him in her son's room. She grabbed the sleeve of Snow's tunic and he allowed her to drag him from the room.

"Go away," she hissed. "Just go away! Why are you always here haunting me?! First it was _her_, whoever she was, and now it's him, my poor Ned!"

"You won, you bitch," he snarled back. "He came home to you and never fathered another bastard and he never even told me who my mother was!"

"Do you think he told me? He _forbade_ me to ever speak of the matter. My husband brings home a bastard before I've even arrived with our son, and I wasn't allowed to ask where you'd come from. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to have the visiting lords and ladies whisper about you and give me pitying looks?!"

"My whole life has been a humiliation, _Lady Stark_. I am the firstborn son of Ned Stark for all we know, but I have no rights. You could turn me out this castle now and no one would say a bad word about you. How dare you begrudge me the little love my father gave me?"

"Love?" Catelyn sneered. "I do not even know the identity of this woman my husband loved more than me, the woman who drove honorable Eddard to dishonor himself. Do not speak to me of love, bastard!"

She would not have been surprised if he had hit her. But he kissed her instead, hard and angry. Her surprise prevented her from struggling until he had her pinned against the wall and it was too late then. Her mouth would be bruised tomorrow from the harshness of his kisses, yet Catelyn tightened her fist in the bastard's hair and pressed her breasts forward against his chest.

It had been two years since Ned's death and she had never taken another man into her bed. Yet now she found heat pooling between her legs for no less a man than his own bastard son. But perhaps it was fitting. Ned had wronged them both. Let them have their revenge. Having decided to do it, she would do it properly. She managed to wrench her mouth away from Jon's long enough to say, "The bed."

They hurried to Catelyn's bed chamber, to the bed she'd shared with Ned so many nights. Jon Snow threw her onto the bed and pulled up her skirts as she tried to unlace his breeches. It took him several tries before he was able to enter her. Catelyn grit her teeth against the discomfort and wrapped her legs around him. She looked up at him. He looked so much like Ned that she couldn't help drawing his face nearer for a kiss.

It was not until it was over and he was laying beside her that the enormity of what she had done hit Catelyn. What fit of madness had overcome her? She glanced at Jon Snow and saw that he looked as guilty and embarrassed as she felt. He had never been her son, but she had watched him grow up with her own children. And now he was in her bed, with his seed still wet between her thighs. Catelyn pushed her skirts down to cover herself.

Jon was lacing up his breeches. He slid off the bed. "I'll leave in the morning," he said quietly, not looking at her.

"Rickon will not like that. He has been lonely. Stay." Perhaps that sounded like a command so she tried to soften it. "You're welcome to stay longer if you'd like."

"Thank you, I would like to spend some more time with Rickon." He glanced at her ever so briefly then fled from her bed chamber.

Catelyn closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. She hoped Ned would forgive her if she saw him again after this life.


End file.
